How can parents distinguish between bullying and normal teasing among children at school?

Distinguishing between bullying and normal teasing among children is a challenge many parents face, especially since some behaviors may appear similar on the surface. However, there are fundamental differences that help determine whether your child is being bullied or participating in it. Bullying is repeated, aggressive behavior intended to intentionally harm another person, characterized by an imbalance of power between the parties, where the victim is weaker or perceived to be weaker. This behavior can be physical, social, or verbal [1].

Understanding the Nature of Bullying

Bullying is not just a passing quarrel or a failed joke. It is deliberate aggressive behavior that is repeated over time or is likely to be repeated, and it causes harm or distress to the victim, whether physical, psychological, social, or educational [2]. Unlike normal teasing, which is often mutual and not intended to cause lasting harm, bullying involves:

• Aggressive behavior: Bullying is characterized by clear aggression, whether physical (such as hitting and kicking), verbal (such as mocking and threatening), or social (such as spreading rumors or deliberate exclusion) [1].
• Power imbalance: Bullying always involves a difference in power, where the bully attempts to use their physical strength, embarrassing information, or popularity to harm others [1].
• Repetition: Bullying happens more than once, or there is a high probability that it will recur [1].

Signs That Your Child Is Being Bullied

Children who are bullied often do not report it, for fear of the bully's reaction or out of shame [1]. Therefore, it is important for parents to be aware of the warning signs that may indicate a bullying problem:

• Behavioral and emotional changes: Such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, or feelings of loneliness [1]. In severe cases, the child may also exhibit self-destructive behaviors such as self-harm or talking about suicide [1].
• Health issues: Frequent complaints of headaches or stomachaches, difficulty sleeping or recurring nightmares, or changes in eating habits [1].
• Declining academic performance: Lack of desire to go to school, worsening grades, or loss of interest in schoolwork [1].
• Physical or material signs: Unexplained injuries, or loss or destruction of clothing, books, electronic devices, or jewelry [1].
• Avoiding social situations: Sudden loss of friends or avoiding social situations they previously enjoyed [1].

How to Support Your Child

If you notice any of these signs, supporting your child and addressing the bullying behavior is crucial. Here are some practical steps:

1. Listen and focus: Listen to your child attentively, understand what is happening, and show them that you want to help. Reassure them that the bullying is not their fault [1].
2. Seek professional help: Children who are bullied may have difficulty talking about it. Consider referring them to a school counselor, a psychologist, or other mental health services [1].
3. Provide advice and guidance: Offer your child advice on how to act if the bullying recurs. This can include role-playing to help them think about potential responses [1].
4. Cooperate with the school: Work with your child, the school, or the concerned organization to resolve the situation and protect the bullied child [1]. The solution should be a joint effort.
5. Continuous follow-up: Bullying may not end overnight. Ensure your child knows that you are committed to stopping this behavior [1].

When Is Immediate Intervention Necessary?

In the event that signs such as self-destructive behaviors, like self-harm or talking about suicide, appear, immediate medical or psychological assistance must be sought [1]. These are red flags that require urgent attention to ensure the child's safety. Bullying can lead to serious mental and physical health problems, and these problems may persist into adulthood [1]. For more information on how to deal with school bullying and support children, you can visit Bullying in schools: How can parents detect its signs and support their children? (Arabic).

Medical references

• Bullying and Cyberbullying
• Bullying